Life is not fair

I have found myself practicing quite a bit in Domestic Court. You really have to be careful when you swear you will never do something. Grace (my 4 year old) asked me about what I do for clients (referring to a divorce client I finished speaking to). I did not want to explain divorce, so I told her that sometimes people aren't fair and that I need to help them when that happens. Her response was: "Daddy, that is not very nice at all!" She was stunned that people would not be fair. Unfortunately I cannot insulate her from this unfortunate reality of the world.

Morning with Grace

I had an opportunity today to spend a morning with Grace (my 4 year old). Her younger sister was hanging out with her Mom, so we took this opportunity to spend some time together. We started with breakfast at Panera. We had a great conversation about self-affirmation (something I really struggle with). I told Grace that she was "so sweet." She responded, "Daddy, don't call me sweet, why don't you call yourself sweet? You are sweet too, you should tell yourself that." She made me tell myself that I was sweet and then she did the same for herself. Grace, you do not know how insightful you are sometimes.

When we got to my office, Grace told me that she could color for me. I struggled to find a use for such a skill in the legal field, but I could not find one. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know!

Grace did ask me if she could sign a document, so I gave her a draft of the first document I had handy--- an Advance Health Care Directive. She was very into it and really wanted to complete it. I told her that she could use it to let people know if she wanted help when she was really sick. She of course said "yes," but then changed her mind and said no (as you can see below). I sure hope she does not have problems in the future because her Dad discussed these horrible things with her.

For some reason Grace and I were talking about "will," not the testamentary variety, but rather the desire to do something. Grace confused the two and asked: "Daddy, I have a Will, don't I?" She then followed-up with "what is a Will?" I explained that it is a document that says where you want your stuff to go when you die and go to heaven. I told her that when Mommy and Daddy go to heaven (in a long long time), everything we own will go to Grace and her sister. Grace perked up and said, "Daddy, I am going to do a Will for my kids and I will give them my flip flops and head band. They will love them!" She was referring to the flip flops and head band she was wearing at that particular moment.

New Toys for the Office

Grace and Kate were shopping with their mother at the Dollar Tree and they bought some new toys for my office. I frequently have children accompany their parents to my office and toys have become a necessary component of my law practice. Grace is trying out one of the new puzzles that is now a part of my supply. She told me that everyone but Kate can play with the new toys. Poor Kate- Grace thinks she is still too little to trust with any new toy!

Death and Dying

As an estate planner, I frequently have to discuss the topics of death and disability. These topics can be extremely uncomfortable for people (and on top of that I ask people to pay me for the privilege of this discussion). I recently learned a good lesson from my four year old about the fear of dying. First, just a few days ago (and totally out of the blue), she told me “Daddy, I don’t want you to get killed.” I replied “me neither” and we had no more to say about that topic.

Just a few days later, Grace told me that she had to tell me something. She put her hands on my cheeks and said “Daddy, I love you. Will you promise something? When you die and are in heaven, you watch me, ok. I will be old when I get there, but when I get there we can love each other forever and ever, ok?“

I was of course a little surprised and had an immediate dread that something was coming for me and this was my omen. She then made me laugh when she said, “write it down ok, so you don’t forget.”

After some reflection I learned a lesson from Grace. She is too young to harbor all the fears and concerns our society has about death. Perhaps it is something (especially those of us who are Christians) should feel comfortable discussing and perhaps we should even embrace it. By the way, Grace, I will watch you.

Play Date

Grace often calls our time together at my office a “play date” and that she loves having them with me. She also really likes to write and draw on my letterhead (I know, it is an expensive piece of scratch paper for her). She asked me if I could order her some letterhead, which could be pretty funny, especially for letters to opposing counsel.

Keep Me Busy

Grace really enjoys working with me in my office. At my home office, she has her own little desk and chair. When she comes with me to my business office, she has her own lap top and a stack of coloring books on my shelf. The last time she was at my business office, she became a little frustrated because she did not have much to do. She pleaded with me “Daddy, keep me busy. I need to be busy!” One day she may understand that not being busy can be an incredible blessing!

Goldfish

I never thought that goldfish would be such an important part of my law practice. When I refer to goldfish, I am not talking about the actual fish, but rather the tasty little cracker. I often take my daughters to my office. Mrs. Barbara (who is the office assistant for my landlord) always has a supply of goldfish, which are especially for kids. My girls have certainly caught on to the plan. On one of our last visits, Grace asked for a snack and I told her we had none. She responded "you have goldfish, you always have goldfish at your office." Her younger sister even gets into the game, for every time she comes to my office she stands in the lobby and cries "I wan cacker." [sic] Thank goodness for goldfish. I could not practice law without them.